Transcript from this weekend. A WyoNation exclusive!

Mountain West: We want an improved television contract for football moving forward.

TV Executive: On what grounds?

Mountain West: In addition to Hawaii, Nevada, and Fresno State, the league has just added Utah State and San Jose State into its future membership.

TV Executive: Oh boy…

Mountain West: What?

TV Executive: Those are not exactly the kind of markets or football programs we are looking for. Do I need to remind you that in the past few years you have lost BYU, Utah, TCU, Boise State and San Diego State? Additionally, 90% of the people east of the Mississippi doesn’t know your conference exists.

Mountain West: Hey, it’s not our fault conference expansion got out of control. We were on the verge of BCS automatic status, and even with the defections we are still clearly the second best football conference based in the west!

TV Executive: Ummm…there are only two football conferences based in the west.

Mountain West: Great, so you agree with us. Now give us an improved TV deal!

TV Executive: No.

Mountain West: Did we mention our commissioner has great hair? That has to count for something!

TV Executive: FFS, college football is not a fashion show.

Mountain West: What if we were to tell you we were on the verge of a partnership with an elite eastern based conference. Would that change your mind?

TV Executive: Maybe, who is it? SEC? ACC? Big 10? Big East? Tell me.

Mountain West: No, no, no and no…it’s Conference USA. SHOW ME THE MONEY!

TV Executive: Wow, you guys really are delusional. I think it’s best we end these talks.

Mountain West: Fine, we have a tee time to get to anyway.