How to not get fired, by @fauxpelini

[MrTitleist]

This blog post is funny as hell.
http://www.sbnation.com/college-footbal ... -avoidance" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[hithere]

This blog post is funny as hell.
http://www.sbnation.com/college-footbal ... -avoidance" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

What's the Main Thing at Wyoming?

Being Cowboy TUFF? Losing by less than two TD's but giving the other team a serious BATTLE so they come away limping? They'll always remember beating the Cowboys is difficult, but can be done many, many times in a row. Usually by multiple scores.

But Wyoming is HARD NOSED and BLUE COLLAR and they wear brown and gold so that should be good enough...

[McPeachy]

This blog post is funny as hell.
http://www.sbnation.com/college-footbal ... -avoidance" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

What's the Main Thing at Wyoming?

1. Be sure to follow the "Burman Theory". That is...do just enough to keep the man off your ass.
2. Befriend the good old boys club - at any and all cost. Start in Casper.
3. Hope the state fossil fuel economy continues to struggle, so it makes a firing difficult.
4. Dummy everything down. And I mean everything.
5. Be nepotistic. If not nepotistic, hire the kids of your largest boosters then.

[hithere]

1. Be sure to follow the "Burman Theory". That is...do just enough to keep the man off your ass.
2. Befriend the good old boys club - at any and all cost. Start in Casper.
3. Hope the state fossil fuel economy continues to struggle, so it makes a firing difficult.
4. Dummy everything down. And I mean everything.
5. Be nepotistic. If not nepotistic, hire the kids of your largest boosters then.

The man's a got-damn savant.

He tries to hire coaches by himself and they're complete disasters. And then for men's basketball, luck into getting a world class coach to come back based on that coach's extremely high character, to go along with another world class coach as his assistant to rebuild. For football, hire an extremely well respected lower division coach to wholly rebuild the program and give the AD at least 5 years of breathing room to get said replacement system in place. The fanbase's expectations are so low from years of losing (from his previous hires) that any improvement from bottom of the barrel to barely mediocre will be considered a success. Win-win for the AD.

All the while preaching patience; that good things are ahead on the horizon.

Amazing. It really is better to be lucky than good sometimes.

[joshvanklomp]

He tries to hire coaches by himself and they're complete disasters.

He hired Shyatt and Bohl, did he not? I know you went on to talk about them in the next sentences, but they were still Burman hires. Which means either you think both Shyatt and Bohl have been complete disasters or you aren't willing to give Burman credit when he makes a good hire.

Basically, anything positive from the Burman administration, you'll just consider it luck rather than give the man credit for a good hire.

[djm19]

Intangible No. 2: Be your school's boyfriend or girlfriend. Make everyone believe you love your school more than anything. This is a giant lie, of course. They hired you because they had a job opening, and you took the job because you needed one. But pretend that fate brought you to the school and that you love it MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD, because the Judgers and Money People want to believe this very badly. Also, the longer you are at your school, the more everyone gets used to you, like a paint color or a comfortable couch, and the more weird it would feel to not have you there, even if you have become bad at coaching.


Also known as Gary Andersen Style. Got a USU tattoo, got an extension, got the fanbase excited, then took the Wisconsin job.

http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/sports/530 ... n.html.csp

[ragtimejoe1]

Intangible 3. Fail to keep pace with inflation with respect to your budget, but, simply because you've been here long enough, bang the drum that the budget is greater than ever before. Be sure to ignore the fact that peer institutions are passing us by.

Intangible 4. If ever called out on anything, ramble on about no excuses, Cowboy Tough, and end with a Powder River holler. That is good enough to buy another year in at minimum.

[ragtimejoe1]

The man's a got-damn savant.

He tries to hire coaches by himself and they're complete disasters. And then for men's basketball, luck into getting a world class coach to come back based on that coach's extremely high character, to go along with another world class coach as his assistant to rebuild. For football, hire an extremely well respected lower division coach to wholly rebuild the program and give the AD at least 5 years of breathing room to get said replacement system in place. The fanbase's expectations are so low from years of losing (from his previous hires) that any improvement from bottom of the barrel to barely mediocre will be considered a success. Win-win for the AD.

All the while preaching patience; that good things are ahead on the horizon.

Amazing. It really is better to be lucky than good sometimes.

Truer words have never been spoken.

[McPeachy]

He hired Shyatt and Bohl, did he not? I know you went on to talk about them in the next sentences, but they were still Burman hires. Which means either you think both Shyatt and Bohl have been complete disasters or you aren't willing to give Burman credit when he makes a good hire.

Basically, anything positive from the Burman administration, you'll just consider it luck rather than give the man credit for a good hire.

You know not of what you speak. That, and outside of Bohl, you don't have a dog in the hunt, or concern number one.

Shyatt was hired (interviewed, sought out, toured, etc.) via committee. Bohl - if you want the honest truth, Burman thought he would never take the job and asked anyway...much to Burman's surprise, Bohl showed interest and the rest is history.

The negative so far out weighs the positive it is a mute point discussing it any further. It is like saying a serial killer gives to United Way.

[BackHarlowRoad]

I don't know, man. While I'm not a huge Burman fan, I also don't think he's all that terrible. He's just a scapegoat.

We point to the "glory days" and how Burman accepts mediocrity because he hasn't gotten us back there, but how good were we really? It's like an old fishing story. We have never been better than mediocre for longer than 2-3 years at a time in any sport. Paul Roach Era lasted 2 years, Joe Tiller's Greatness lasted 1 year, Lloyd Eaton had 2 maybe 3 good years. Going back in time beyond the early 1990s is pointless anyway, college athletics is not even close to the same ballgame now.

I won't feel any love loss if we got rid of Burman, but I can almost guarantee any other person we hire to replace him won't do very much differently. Our problems are more deeply rooted than TB.

[WYCowboy]

I don't know, man. While I'm not a huge Burman fan, I also don't think he's all that terrible. He's just a scapegoat.

We point to the "glory days" and how Burman accepts mediocrity because he hasn't gotten us back there, but how good were we really? It's like an old fishing story. We have never been better than mediocre for longer than 2-3 years at a time in any sport. Paul Roach Era lasted 2 years, Joe Tiller's Greatness lasted 1 year, Lloyd Eaton had 2 maybe 3 good years. Going back in time beyond the early 1990s is pointless anyway, college athletics is not even close to the same ballgame now.

I won't feel any love loss if we got rid of Burman, but I can almost guarantee any other person we hire to replace him won't do very much differently. Our problems are more deeply rooted than TB.

I believe this is true as our short-tenured pres is evidence. No changes allowed.

[hithere]

Basically, anything positive from the Burman administration, you'll just consider it luck rather than give the man credit for a good hire.

Yes. I thought I made that point quite clear.

[stymeman]

this is good, McIlwaine is good for now, being expensive

i meant the article is good, as for CSU they'll have him for another year or 2, drats

[joshvanklomp]

Shyatt was hired (interviewed, sought out, toured, etc.) via committee.

A committee of which Burman was a part of.

Keep thinking that I don't know what I'm talking about though.

[hithere]

Keep thinking that I don't know what I'm talking about though.

Ok.

[joshvanklomp]

Keep thinking that I don't know what I'm talking about though.

Ok.

[Hayduke]

this is good, McIlwaine is good for now, being expensive

i meant the article is good, as for CSU they'll have him for another year or 2, drats

I don't know about that. The big boys have big pockets. If they want him, and wants to move on, they'll pay the price. I could see him gone at the end of the year. Not saying it's going to happen, but it could.

[McPeachy]

Shyatt was hired (interviewed, sought out, toured, etc.) via committee.

A committee of which Burman was a part of.

Keep thinking that I don't know what I'm talking about though.

"He hired Shyatt and Bohl, did he not?"

That is your comment - which is inaccurate - a committee interviewed, sought out, toured, and ultimately hired Shyatt. Burman would have overlooked Shyatt (AGAIN - research Heath Schroyer) if not for the committee.

So yes, I will keep thinking you don't know what you are talking about.

[joshvanklomp]

Pelini just dropped another one. Minnesota gets first win at Memorial Stadium since 1960!

[Wyo2dal]

He tries to hire coaches by himself and they're complete disasters.

He hired Shyatt and Bohl, did he not? I know you went on to talk about them in the next sentences, but they were still Burman hires. Which means either you think both Shyatt and Bohl have been complete disasters or you aren't willing to give Burman credit when he makes a good hire.

Basically, anything positive from the Burman administration, you'll just consider it luck rather than give the man credit for a good hire.

Technically committees made suggestions for Shyatt but not sure if any committee had anything to do with Bohl, I wouldn't be surprised at all if they did because so far Burnman has hired complete and total flops in Money programs.